Today marks a year that my beloved Cody was taken away.
When I think back on Cody's life, it is as if it all went by in seconds. Cody gave us thirteen years of love, laughs, fun, cuddling, and yes, sometimes aggravation, but mostly he gave us the blessing of sharing our hearts and our home with one of the most patient and loving cats I have ever known.
I miss Cody's quirky little mouth, I miss his gorgeous sea-green eyes, I miss him sitting on the armrest of the couch next to me, every night of his life for 13 years.
I miss his constant quest for food, his loudly announcing to all of us when we had to awaken and when we would eat.
Lenny and I probably mention Cody at least once a day. I often call Roary, "Cody." I sometimes am in the kitchen and think I see some gray fur out of the corner of my eye.
I will never be able to re-live that day in print. NEVER. Believe me, you don't want me to. I remember Ingrid King of The Conscious Cat telling me I was suffering from PTSD, and a special woman I spoke to yesterday, who is in the Veterinary field, told me the exact same thing. She validated my pain by saying that those who know the details of what happened that day, COMPLETELY understand that there is NO WAY I wouldn't (or my husband wouldn't), suffer from PTSD. Ingrid's comment and the special person who told me this yesterday, helped to give me some closure and to put my heart/mind at ease. For much too long I have beaten myself up because I promised Cody that after his biopsy surgery he would be ok......until he wasn't. What happened to Cody was a freak one in a million incident, that I pray NO ONE ever has to WITNESS or live through.
There IS one strange thing that took place that day that I would like to share with you. Many years ago s special friend of mine made me a beautiful sweatshirt in honor of John Lennon's passing. (I am a huge Lennon freak). For a number of years I tore through closets trying to find that shirt and could never find it.
The day Cody passed, somehow he managed to go into the closet (where he often would lay in Bobo's old PTU), but due to his enormous loss of blood he couldn't make it in the carrier. Instead, when my husband found him, he was laying next to this.
My sweatshirt that I had been searching for and could never find. It was on the floor of the closet and Cody was next to it.
I believe Cody was sending Lenny and I a message by choosing to die next to that sweatshirt. He wanted me to know that even if he was gone physically, he would never, ever be "gone." His memory would still continue to "shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun."......
Cody, Daddy and I miss you every day and love you more than you could ever imagine. I'll do my best not to cry.....I'll try and focus on the happy, loving, cuddly times.......the day I adopted you after YOU CHOSE ME, was one of the luckiest days of my life. Thank you my "Codester", "Codalicious", my "Co-dependent one"......you will NEVER be completely gone. You will ALWAYS "shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun." AND YOU ALWAYS WILL........
