Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday Funny

Today's post isn't about cats.

This post is about one of many ridiculous emails I receive on a regular basis. This one in particular has to take the cake.

Should I reveal the sender of this post? Probably not, but if they are intellectually challenged enough to send it to me then  being in the snarky mood that I am in, I have the right to display it,  in all of it's glory.


Subject:Janitorial Budget
Priority:NormalDate:Tuesday, November 1, 2011 10:53 AMSize:3 KB
Hi , 
I am checking in to see how you are doing with your janitorial services?  We are 
approaching budget season again.  Would you like an estimate for the next fiscal 
Best regards, 
Randall Martin 
Vice President Sales & Marketing 
Skyline Building Care 
Serving the Janitorial Service & Supply Needs of California Businesses 

Yep you read correctly! The email is about "Janitorial Services"

Here is my response. Sadly, I accidentally deleted the original that I REALLY DID send to "Mr. Martin". This is a reasonable facsimile thereof:

Dear Mr. Martin,

I suggest before you grab links and just write to them at random, that you do your homework and READ the content that is housed on the links you have chosen to solicit.

I have a CAT BLOG. The link you are writing to is a CAT BLOG.

Are you interested in joining me during my day that involves scooping industrial sized cat turds from the litter box?

 Have a hankering for picking up dog poop from our courtyard?

No? I didn't think so.

Welcome to my world.

Peace Out.

Caren Gittleman

Needless to say I did not receive a response.

Warning to those who contact me and have no clue as to WHO or WHAT they are contacting. If you approach me with stupidity, please be prepared to accept what you will receive in return.

The human equivalent of a hiss and claws poised and at-the-ready.

So,  this  post REALLY WAS about CATS after all!


  1. OMG that was wonderful, I loved your response!!! The little poster is great too. Thanks for the laugh!

  2. oh, I don't know which is funnier the photo or the e-mail. Great reply. BTW, I LOVE your sign. I can think of several people who would probably swear that was written about me. :) Have a wonderful Friday.

    Thoughts in Progress

  3. Oh Caren, you are a hoot! Happy Friday and enjoy your weekend.

  4. @Coupon Queen, so happy you liked it!!! lol!!! Thank you!!!

    @Shawn you just made me smile! :) Thanks so much, Happy Friday to you too and have a great weekend!

    @Mason isn't that quote just the best!!?? It is one of my all time faves! I was just also so aggravated with emails like this but this one really took the cake! Have a great weekend!

  5. Oh, it's *always* about cats. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a dog owner.

  6. Aunty Caren,
    I wonder if they'll end extend janitorial services to our neck of the woods. Mama says she won't mind paying someone else to scoop our poo and stuff. So she can concentrate on the loving and feeding... yeah...right! purrr...meow!

  7. Caren you are my hero!! Can I employ you to reply to the endless emails I get encouraging me to get a pe*is extension! Oh and not forgetting those from Dr Agebobo from Lagos who wants to give me a million naira- which is worth about 1 pound sterling!!!!

    LOL I know it's frustrating but thanks for the laugh x

  8. Great answer! I love your idea, you did very well!
    Some people have no sense...
    purrs and love to you all

  9. BOL!!! That's the most wonderful response in the world.

    You're so witty and clever, Caren!

    I love you!!!!

  10. LOL! "Janitorial budget" - that's such a funny subject heading for an email! LOL!

    Yes, devils beware when women find their inner strengths!!

    Hugs to adorable Cody! Take care

  11. That is really something. I would have just deleted it and not give the guy the gift of a reply. I get so many spam comments and spam emails, I am really used to deleting stuff.

  12. @alonewithcats lol! I agree...except (covering face) I also own (gasp) a DOG!!!! :)

    @Marg I DO delete...TONS of them. This one in particular was one of the most inane ones I have received and in the mood I was in...oh yessssssssss he was gonna hear it. :)

    @Old Kitty yep "janitorial budget!" This guy is really on top of the garbage heap xoxoxo to you and Charlie

    @Priscilla lol!!!! Thank you!!! I wish I hadn't deleted what I had was almost identical but I think it was better!! Love you too!!! xoxoxo

    @Luna thank you and I soooooo agree!!! xoxoxo

    @CaroScat HELL YEAH you can employ me to answer your mail! Since I am basically unemployed that would be a blast! lol. I am so happy you enjoyed it!

    @Cat-from-Sydney, his name, address and phone number are above...give him a shout out, I'm sure he would be THRILLED to hear from you! lmao!!!!!

  13. Hahahahahaha! Great way to start a Friday!
    How do these types keep a business going??
    Have a fab weekend!

  14. @zaza lol!! Thank you!!! I sure don't know! I just can't believe it! You have a fab weekend too!

  15. Love it! I never thought of responding to one of those inane emails...leave it to you! hehe In fact, I'll be consulting you on the next one I get! You have a future in Realistic Consumer Affairs. lol

  16. Ha! Ha! Ha!
    Wes gets some weird emails for The Cat From hell and for its a Rrruff Life and wes just deletes them,now wes is thinking wes should answer... mes loves your response (industrial sized cat turds!!!)!
    me wonders if he reads it.....

  17. That IS funny! We can't stand getting that kind of stuff, either. Your reply is priceless. :)

  18. Ha ha, this is classic! The subject line of the email cracks me up all by itself. Love your response, and there have been several times lately that I have wished I could do the hiss and claws thing that my cat Nate does so well! :D

    Love the pic of too, so cute. Have a great weekend!

  19. Bwaaaa ha ha! That is a great reply! Personally, I love the e-mails that are in such poorly worded English that I'm not sure if the person who wrote it even understands what he or she is saying.

  20. Ha! If I ever get an wemail like that I will tell them I am a friend of yours, they will likely not mess with me!

  21. Hahaha! Gee, I wonder why they didn't write back and offer to help you out with the industrial sized cat poops? MOL. I always love the "penis" emails asking me if I want a bigger one. Tempted to write back, Last time I checked, I didn't have one. But if I do grow one some day, I will be sure to let you know.

  22. @Mario thanks so much pal!

    @Julia Williams omg I am ROLLING from your comment! TOO FUNNY! Now THOSE emails I don't open! lol.

    @Brian you got it my friend! :)

    @houndstooth OMG I know! Those are some of my favorites too! They don't make a BIT of sense! lol

    @Julie thank you soooooo much! I know when I saw the subject line I nearly died myself! You have a great weekend too!

    @meowmeowmans, thank you! You know me, I HAVE to say what is on my mind! :)

    @Nellie I thought the same. If he DID read it I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall!

    @Kim YEP! You know me better than most! lol. "Realistic Consumer Affairs" I love it! Oh yeah for SURE contact me if you need a response! lol

    TO EVERYONE I am so happy I could make you laugh today! Thank you! Also, I am sorry if I have been lax about visiting many of you the past few days. Yesterday I was gone at the doctor and dentist most of the day, today I was gone all day and will be gone the majority of the evening. I haven't forgotten you! I will do my best to catch up this weekend but not sure if I can...I am sooo sorry! I have just been crazy busy lately! (((((hugs))))))))

  23. @Tucker you are welcome!!! Thank YOU for making mine! :)

  24. Oh my goodness! lol! Thanks for the chuckle, Caren. I really needed it today :-)

  25. Ha! We got a kick out of that-thanks for sharing!

  26. Good grief, I've heard of doing some crazy things for money, but flying(??) (driving??) all the way from California to clean your office (and scoop litterboxes and courtyards) seems a tad extreme (not to mention, less than cost-effective, lol).

    Hmm... I wonder if they'd like to come on down to Kentucky, while they're at it... I'm totally willing to forego all chores for a few days to make it worth the trip... ;D

  27. Lol so ridiculous! I wish they would just add an extra 2 seconds to their day to check the topics then they might actually get somewhere!!

  28. @Benny and Lily thank you!

    @Stacy and Ellie sooooo true!

    @GlamKitty, wouldn't I laugh if they took my "clean-up" seriously? lol

    @Bocci thanks so much and you are welcome!

    @Cat and the coffee cup so glad you liked it! ((((hugs)))))

  29. hahah caren thats great! people are ridiculous with their emails, i get alot of spam.

  30. Great post - and the graphic at the end is superb.

    Cody and Gracie

  31. @Cynthia, it's more than "spunk" I'm "certifiable" lol

    @Goldie lol, thank you!

    @Cody and Gracie thanks so much!! That is one of my favorites and suits me to a tee!

    @CRichman, oh I know! We all get them! Have a great day!

  32. So funny and so true!!! I am bombarded at work all day long with those kinds of emails and phone calls. Needless to say, by the time I get home, I am NOT in a good mood!! Loved your response!!

    P.S. It looks like Cody needs to borrow Zee's headache toy!

  33. @Deb ahhhh I remember all too well! Spent 20+ yrs in phone advertising sales and OMG the people who would call in and email! I remember walking in the door the same way!

    Yes Cody DOES need Zee's headache toy! lol
    Have a great weekend!

  34. ha ha ha ha haaaaaa blah ha haa.. good on you! we loved this and your response! Priceless. Love Darcy and Bingley xx

  35. Just saw your comment on my post about the e-mail. Actually I hadn't read this post yet, so that's funny that we posted a very similar thing! It's so annoying when people write/comment things that are so totally inappropriate for what your blog is actually about.

  36. Ha! Brilliant! I just delete all the crap I get here personally and at work, without reading. I figure if I reply they'll know it's a valid email address and then they'll never leave me alone. LOL.

    -"Mom" Kim from Fuzzy Tales

  37. P.S. Meant to mention that I'm all for cross-cultural points of view, and understanding, respect, and tolerance of said viewpoints. :-)

    (Re: our peace post on Friday)

  38. Love it! I can so relate. At work, I get SO many calls from solicitors.... and wow, have they gotten creative over the years...

  39. @Hilary ohhh I can imagine the calls you get! lol. I remember my office days too well, they weren't that long ago...people are CRAZY! lol

    @Kea good point about the valid email address! Well so far so good, he hasn't answered! OMG your multi-cultural approach to the Peace Day was just wonderful!! I loved it!

    @Janet lol!! I know! I was kidding because I was pretty sure you hadn't seen this. I just thought the coincidence was too darned funny!!! "Great Minds!!"

    @Darcy and Bingley, thanks so much!! I am so glad that you enjoyed it!!

  40. LOL! I love your response!!
    I usually just delete this kind of annoying e-mail. But maybe next time I will reply and it may release my stress a little bit even if I don't receive response :-)

  41. ha ha ha that is hysterical! (your email back) high paw!

  42. @Laila and Minchie you got it! lol

    @Abigail, Madison and Lisa thank you!!!! Slapping your paw back! lol

    @Tamago that is exactly what I found it to be, an EXCELLENT stress release! lol

  43. Greetings,
    Yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.
    Now then, I and the human I so kindly allow to live me, get emails as useless as the one you have so cleverly responded too. Heck, there is a Nigerian 'princess' who is going to make my human mega rich. All he has to do is send her his bark, I mean bank details....
    However, Caren, if you require any form of 'cleaning service', I will gladly come over and lick your plates. Then you can put them straight back into the cupboard.
    Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses, Penny xx

  44. Um, not to mention that the 925 area code is in the Bay Area--don't you live in Michigan or something? Why yes, I'd love some janitorial services, but probably the F'ING PLANE TICKETS you'd have to buy every afternoon would kind of CUT INTO YOUR PROFITS.

  45. You gave me a nice big laugh this evening!!!! Love your response!!!!
    xx, Happy & Fern

  46. @klahanie lol I love your wicked humor. You are about as nuts as me! (that's a compliment! lol) Ohhhh yes I know about the Nigerian Princesses, Kings, long lost relatives lol. You can lick our plates anytime!

    @Happy and Fern, if I can make people laugh then it is all worthwhile to me! Thank you!

    @Spitty lmao! Yep I am in Michigan! He really did his homework didn't he?

  47. LOL Caren! (now I'm 'fraid to leave a comment--tee-hee!)

    I get emails about career counseling. I can help your cat get a job, but do you really want me helping humans find employment? :)

  48. Hey Cody,

    This is Dakota's buddy Snoopy here - he sent me over to read your funny post!! Love it!

    Does this person think that if you really had a budget you'd spend it on cleaning?! Come on, I know you'd spend it on treats especially as your Mum will clean up for free, right?! Tee Hee

    Have a fun day,

    Your Pal Snoopy :)