I married a commitment-phobic man, so when I heard the premise of
Author Hilary Grossman's book,
Dangled Carat, I knew that this was a book that I
HAD to read.
Many of you know Hilary as the author of the popular blog
Feeling Beachie, where her keen sense of observation,
as it relates to people and their idiosyncrasies, is conveyed
(often with sarcasm and humor), on a daily basis. For the
cat lovers that read both of our blogs, you probably came to know Hilary when she would write about her beloved cat,
Alex, (who I was pleased to see was mentioned a number of times in the book), and now her current kitty, precious
Lucy. Today I am pleased to introduce you to
Hilary Grossman, AUTHOR (and a brilliant one at that!), of
Dangled Carat, the first of what I am certain will be a
succession of
successful novels!
From Dangled Carat:Hilary had gotten used to dating the commitment-phobic Marc, thirteen years her senior. They had a great relationship—why rush into things? She saw no need to pressure him for marriage, believing that when the time was right, he would propose. But after they had been together for four years, their friends decided to take matters into their own hands, pushing Marc to propose and making Hilary realize how much she really did want to marry the man that she loved. Unfortunately, Marc still wasn’t ready—and their friends’ meddling in the form of a faux engagement party led to a disastrous New Year’s Eve that brought their relationship to an inevitable turning point.In this relatable, lighthearted, and playful memoir, Hilary reminisces about her life before Marc—from the insecure and awkward teenage years she spent in a back brace and dealing with the loss of her father, to her early relationships and, finally, to the day she met Marc and realized that she really wanted to see him again... Hilary shares the details of their relationship and how Marc’s inability to commit led her to find an inner strength and confidence she didn’t know she possessed.
How I wish I had this book when I met my now husband! Hilary was spot on in her often hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking, depiction of how a woman feels when dating (and
WAITING!) for a commitment-phobic man to "see the light." For women who have dated and
lost a commitment-phobic man, to those like myself who
married one, you will commiserate with the pain, joy, frustration and wisdom that Hilary displayed throughout her relationship with Marc.
One of many things that I found to be fabulous about
Dangled Carat, was even knowing Hilary,
as I do through blogging, and
KNOWING the final outcome, I found myself gasping at parts, saying "Ohhhh noooo" and cheering her on, (and yelling at Marc!), through every page. I found myself
FORGETTING that I know her!
I would be remiss if I didn't mention the title again. It didn't click with me until I read the book, the title
Dangled Carat is brilliant!
How many of you are familiar with the
Carrot and Stick Approach? The Carrot and Stick Approach :
"is an idiom that refers to a policy of offering a combination of rewards and punishment to induce behavior. It is named in reference to a cart driver dangling a carrot in front of a mule and holding a stick behind it. The mule would move towards the carrot because it wants the reward of food, while also moving away from the stick behind it, since it does not want the punishment of pain, thus drawing the cart."
I am by no means comparing Hilary to a MULE, but the clear message is that through Marc's obvious signals, gestures and behavior, he DID
love Hilary,
but enough to marry her?
Marc showed Hilary enough love and affection to make her remain in a relationship with him, but the
obvious reward, marriage, remained out of reach, just like the elusive carrot of the mule. Hilary was in the "driver's seat" in the relationship, but often didn't realize that. Controlling a successful career was easy for her. Hilary endured heartbreaking traumas in her life that would have broken one with less internal strength, but she emerged victorious. Those battles in hindsight were
EASY compared to what she was experiencing with Marc.
While she wanted to remain in the relationship, and in her heart KNEW she would be married to Marc, she also considered moving away from it, wanting to escape the pain that she often felt would happen if she stayed, much like the mule pulling the cart.
In the Jewish religion there is a word and the word is
Beshert which means
"inevitable" or "preordained." It
can apply to any happening which appears to bear the fingerprints of divine
providence"
From Hilary and Marc's first meeting it was evident that this relationship was
Beshert, it just took patience, intellect, emotional fortitude, listening to one's gut and the intervention of a
VILLAGE! (Marc's friends/family) to have this 40-something commitment-phobe see the light!
Dangled Carat is a
GEM!!!
To purchase visit:
AMAZON
BARNES & NOBLE
In Full Disclosure: I received no compensation for this review, over a year ago I was speaking with Hilary on the phone and learned of her plans to write "A" book, (not knowing it would be this one!) I told her that when she did, I wanted to be SURE to be included as one of the reviewers. That is why I broke away from A HUGE RULE when reviewing Dangled Carat:: I only review books featuring cats, (well Alex IS in the book a teeny-tiny bit!)
