I was pawing around on my Mom's desk this weekend and found this:
|My loser Mom stole this photo from the publisher's website|
"Oh I blog because I love cats" she says, or, "I'm not in this for the money" she says...c'mon, cut the "Holier than Thou" routine lady! If someone knocked on our door offering us movies and endorsement deals like Grumpy Cat (by the way, I was GRUMPY way before that 2 year old cat ever came onto the scene, but I live with a LOSER who never dreamed of capitalizing on that!!!), she would be all over it, like me on one of my catnip toys!! CUT THE CATNIP WOMAN!! YOU ARE "being forced to admit that despite owning both a cat and a computer during this legendary Golden Age of Cat Videos-you ARE the only cretin in the world who is failing to cash in!!!"
|See this photo? It's at least 2 years old!|
BEFORE THE GRUMPY CAT ERA!!
Yeah she posts on Twitter, does a few obligatory things on Facebook, Pinterest, and a few other sites, (just a few of a myriad of invaluable tips that this book offers,) but the WOMAN HAS NO CLUE.
Now, adding insult to injury, while pussy footing around the Internet I ran into reviews of How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity written by The Conscious Cat and Sparkle. I hung my head in shame and began frantically kneading the closest blanket. The fact that THEY read this book and reviewed it is like giving ICE to an Eskimo!! THEY ARE ALL FAMOUS! THEY ARE ALL ALREADY DOING MANY OF THE THINGS THAT THE BOOK SUGGESTS THAT WE DO!! In fact, Sparkle wrote about how upset she was that all of her trade secrets were revealed in this book! Imagine that! Me? My darn Mom can barely scratch two nickles together to buy kibble AFTER GOING ON FIVE YEARS of having MOI as her MUSE!
I HAD TO READ THIS BOOK AND FAST! Maybe SOME semblance of pride could be restored and I had to do it before Katie and Waffles from Glogirly , and that text-crazed cat known as "Mittens" from Texts from Mittens, (created by Angie Bailey of Catladyland and Whiskerslist fame), get their paws on it!!!
These people understand that, as How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity clearly states:
"NO FINANCIAL OPPORTUNITY WILL GIVE YOU A GREATER RETURN ON INVESTMENT THAN YOUR CAT"
We all know that NONE OF THEM NEED THIS BOOK! WHY? I'LL TELL YA WHY!
THEY ARE ALREADY UTILIZING ALL OF THE SUGGESTIONS IN THIS BOOK!
I AM THE ONLY SORRY-BUTT LOSER WHO ISN'T!
From the Publisher: With How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity, readers can unlock the secrets of grooming your kitty for success, creating a terrific viral video, managing your cat’s burgeoning stardom, and much more. Packed with practical tips and helpful diagrams, this indispensable resource shows how ordinary housecats can follow in the venerable pawprints of the Internet’s brightest stars.
While many of the tips are written in a "tongue-in-cheek" manner, there are MANY tips/suggestions in this PURRFECTLY POWER-PACKED PAPER-BACK BOOK that can be put into practice NOW! DO YOU HEAR THAT MOM! I SAID "NOW!!!"
Now kitties, I don't want to reveal ALL of the tips in this book, heck, if NO ONE made it EASY for ME to make any BUCKS I'm certainly NOT going to do that for you, hehehe!
Trust me, you and your HUMANS NEED THIS BOOK if you have any hopes of hitting the big time and having some extra loot for more noms and toys!
To learn How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity, you will have to do a couple of things on your own:
1) BUY THE BOOK
2) ENTER TO WIN A COPY!!!!! YEP!! THIS LOSER CAT WAS OFFERED A WORLD-WIDE GIVE-AWAY BY THE PUBLISHER!! 3 LUCKY (OR LOSER) CATS LIKE MYSELF WILL WIN A COPY OF THIS MUST READ (OVER AND OVER AGAIN), GUIDE BOOK!! IT'S A PAYCHECK AT YOUR PAWS!!! AND....THEY ARE GOING TO EACH WIN A POSTER TOO!!!
You do realize the Publisher must have felt sorry for me and my Mom when Mom asked if we could do a give-away and they agreed, right? Well, we'll take anything thrown our way, and you should too!
ENTER ON THE RAFFLECOPTER BELOW!
a Rafflecopter giveaway