Monday, April 21, 2014

Cats! You Must Read How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity by Patricia Carlin-World-Wide Give-Away!

Well, well, well, it's Cody, and here I sit, my tail between my legs, feeling like NOTHING, a BIG silver-gray tabby pile of NOTHING. No, it's not the Monday Blues, nope, not at all. It's my MOM. My lazy, good-for-nothing, poor excuse of an Assistant, MOM.  Why is my fur standing on end because of HER? I'll tell ya why, and trust me, it's pitiful.

I was pawing around on my Mom's desk this weekend and found this:

My loser Mom stole this photo from the publisher's website
Let me ask you this kitties, WHERE WAS THIS BOOK FOUR YEARS AGO when Mom I started this blog? WHERE WAS IT? For the past four years I have had to endure the unbearable pain of witnessing my Mom work on post after useless post, much of it drivel. I have watched her haphazardly insert unacceptable photos of ME, do you hear me? ME on our MY blog.  I have watched her struggling to take videos, with the sun blaring in her face (any idiot knows the sun should be BEHIND you), or shooting videos in a room darker than the Black Hole, and she WONDERS WHY no one has a CLUE who I am? If Mom had had this MUST READ book, I might have been, be still my kitty heart, FAMOUS by now!

"Oh I blog because I love cats" she says, or, "I'm not in this for the money" she says...c'mon, cut the "Holier than Thou" routine lady! If someone knocked on our door offering us movies and endorsement deals like Grumpy Cat  (by the way, I was GRUMPY way before that 2 year old cat ever came onto the scene, but I live with a LOSER who never dreamed of capitalizing on that!!!), she would be all over it, like me on one of my catnip toys!! CUT THE CATNIP WOMAN!! YOU ARE "being forced to admit that despite owning both a cat and a computer during this legendary Golden Age of Cat Videos-you ARE the only cretin in the world who is failing to cash in!!!"
See this photo? It's at least 2 years old!
BEFORE THE GRUMPY CAT ERA!!


Yeah she posts on Twitter, does a few obligatory things on Facebook, Pinterest, and a few other sites,  (just a few of a myriad of invaluable tips that this book offers,) but the WOMAN HAS NO CLUE.

Now, adding insult to injury, while pussy footing around the Internet I ran into reviews of  How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity written by The Conscious Cat and Sparkle. I hung my head in shame and began frantically kneading the closest blanket. The fact that THEY read this book and reviewed it is like giving ICE to an Eskimo!!  THEY ARE ALL FAMOUS!  THEY ARE ALL ALREADY DOING MANY OF THE THINGS THAT THE BOOK SUGGESTS THAT WE DO!! In fact, Sparkle wrote about how upset she was that all of her trade secrets were revealed in this book! Imagine that! Me? My darn Mom can barely scratch two nickles together to buy kibble AFTER GOING ON FIVE YEARS of having MOI as her MUSE!

I HAD TO READ THIS BOOK AND FAST! Maybe SOME semblance of pride could be restored and I had to do it  before Katie and Waffles from  Glogirly , and that text-crazed cat known as "Mittens" from Texts from Mittens,   (created by Angie Bailey of Catladyland and Whiskerslist fame), get their paws on it!!!

These people  understand that, as How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity clearly states:

 "NO FINANCIAL OPPORTUNITY WILL GIVE YOU A GREATER RETURN ON INVESTMENT THAN YOUR CAT"

We all know that NONE OF THEM NEED THIS BOOK! WHY? I'LL TELL YA WHY!  

THEY ARE ALREADY UTILIZING ALL OF THE SUGGESTIONS IN THIS BOOK!

I AM THE ONLY SORRY-BUTT LOSER WHO ISN'T!


From the Publisher: With How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity, readers can unlock the secrets of grooming your kitty for success, creating a terrific viral video, managing your cat’s burgeoning stardom, and much more. Packed with practical tips and helpful diagrams, this indispensable resource shows how ordinary housecats can follow in the venerable pawprints of the Internet’s brightest stars.

While many of the tips are written in a "tongue-in-cheek" manner, there are MANY tips/suggestions in this PURRFECTLY POWER-PACKED PAPER-BACK BOOK that can be put into practice NOW! DO YOU HEAR THAT MOM! I SAID "NOW!!!"

Now kitties, I don't want to reveal ALL of the tips in this book, heck, if NO ONE made it EASY for ME to make any BUCKS I'm certainly NOT going to do that for you, hehehe! 

 Trust me, you and your HUMANS NEED THIS BOOK if you have any hopes of hitting the big time and having some extra loot for more noms and toys!

To learn How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity, you will have to do a couple of things on your own:

1) BUY THE BOOK
Available as an ebook
E-Book ISBN: 
9781594746840
ISBN: 

9781594746796
Book Price $12.95

2) ENTER TO WIN A COPY!!!!! YEP!! THIS LOSER CAT WAS OFFERED A WORLD-WIDE GIVE-AWAY BY THE PUBLISHER!! 3 LUCKY (OR LOSER) CATS LIKE MYSELF WILL WIN A COPY OF THIS MUST READ (OVER AND OVER AGAIN), GUIDE BOOK!! IT'S A PAYCHECK AT YOUR PAWS!!! AND....THEY ARE GOING TO EACH WIN A POSTER TOO!!! 

You do realize the Publisher must have felt sorry for me and my Mom when Mom asked if we could do a give-away and they agreed, right? Well, we'll take anything thrown our way, and you should too! 

ENTER ON THE RAFFLECOPTER BELOW!
a Rafflecopter giveaway








In Full Disclosure: (of course there was no money given to us for this review because if you remember, my LOSER MOM DOESN'T DO THIS FOR THE MONEY!!!!), we were given a copy of the book to review and the publisher will send a book and a poster,  to each of our 3 winners.

53 comments:

  1. That's a great giveaway ! Pet blogging is not so usual here, and Mum is always looking for advices and annoying celebrity blogger kitties like you with silly questions... She needs that book ! Purrs

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  2. Ha ha ha, Cody! This was like the funniest thing I ever read! We laffed and laffed. But do you want to know the sad part? Well, DO YOU? Here's the sad part: Even if I got this book, and even if I read it to my human word by freaking word, she is TOO STUPID to DO any of the things it would suggest. Oh no, Spitty, she'd say, we just do this for fun. You're lucky you even have your blog! THAT's what she'd say, all right. And you thinkn YOU have it bad. As if!

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  3. Hahaha... we love your post, Cody! You're so funny! And you know what!? You're already a little star! :-) xoxo Roxy & Tigerlino <3

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  4. I love this post, and that sounds like a great book!


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  5. Awwwww Cody! LOL!!! You must be very patient with mum and perhaps leave some HINTS for her to pick up! LOL!! We already think you are a super duper star kitty!!! Yay! Take care
    x

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  6. I thought you were already famous Cody. It seems nowadays, if you want to be really famous, you have to be a scientologist. ;)

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  7. Cody you made us chuckle. Sounds like a great giveaway. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  8. Great review, Cody! I sure hope your mom shapes up after reading this book.... ;-) and thanks for the shoutout!

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  9. Good review......Mom and I think we're quite happy being relative unknowns vs. all those personal appearances and pawtograph sessions....if I was any more famous I wouldn't have time for all the naps I love to take anyway!!!!!

    Hugs, Sammy

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  10. At least your mom blogs for you, we can't seem to motivate ours at all! Don't worry Cody, you're an uber celebrity to us always!

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  11. Well, I most certainly know of a pair of pets that might get something out of this book ! Sounds fun and love your post, Cody. Your mom does a great job with your blog and you may not get as many cat naps with being MORE famous. ;0)

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  12. Oh, Cody I loved this post. Just what I need early on a Monday morning. :) I'm sure your mom will do much better now. It would be interesting to see what the book's all about. Little One would have made a great diva, but I'm not sure Traveler would like the limelight of being famous. He likes to keep to himself.

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  13. I definitely would like to read this.

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  14. Thanks for the shout-out! I won't tell Mittens about it -- his head is already too big. And he won't ride that damn Roomba anyway.

    Cody, I wouldn't worry about it. Your mom does a great job and is loved by many (along with you and Dakota, of course). :) Have a great day!

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  15. Sounds like an awesome book! I secretly tried to make funny videos to put on youtube. But always failed! I'm sure this book can help us on our way. ;)
    I hope I win!

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  16. Oh Cody! You already are a celebrity in our eyes! :)

    the critters in the cottage xo

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  17. Cody, you're already famous. Aimee, on the other hand, has a small, private following and doesn't know why her mother is such a pathetic photographer and never even tried to do a video.

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  18. Oh Cody, fame is in the eye of the beholder.. you are already famous in our eyes!

    Noodle

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  19. Great giveaway! We will leave this one for the kitties out there!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  20. I am hoping to learn enough stuff that I can always afford my favorite food and litter, saving my mommy some headaches!

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  21. I definitely would like to see Hana and Akua on the big screen at the internet cat festival. Roll the camera...

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  22. One of my favorite blog posts. Ever. Bravo!

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    1. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!! Wanna know something? Mine too :)
      xoxoxo

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  23. I thought that was a book about you Cody!

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  24. Cody,

    I think you need to have a conversation with your accountant, and maybe a private investigator.. cause you seem to be pretty darn famous out here in the interwebs, and if you aren't seeing that, then maybe someone is hiding that from you..

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    1. Well, you could have fooled ME!!! MOL!!!! you gave Mom quite the chuckle too!! She is STILL LAUGHING!!

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  25. MOL, Cody - you need to give your human more props! My human had to contact the publisher herself on my behalf - and we did not even get a giveaway offer! So I am not as famous as you would think!

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    1. oh yes you are!! Maybe, because you are so famous they were AFRAID to contact you? Me, on the other paw, they figured I'd be DYING to hear from them! MOL! MOL!! Oh...Mom asked for the give-away but yes, they DID contact her. Love, Cody

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  26. Your mom is NOT lazy! I was the first to do book review photos of cats reading books and now everyone does them and we weren't contacted by the publisher. What are we chopped liver ;-0

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  27. That does sound like a good book. I would like to read it just for the fun of it. But I really think the reason that Ugly cat became famous was just plain Irish Luck. She was there at the right time and the right place and did some mighty good advertising. But great review Cody. You did good.

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    1. ohhhh Marg you sooo made us laugh!!!! "Ugly Cat" MOL MOL!!! Love ya and thank you!!

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  28. Wow! That sounds like a great book!

    But we don't think you're a loser, Cody. We thought you were already famous! You are a celebri-cat in our eyes :)

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    1. Awww thank you my furiends! Mom and I think you are a breath of fresh air in the blogosphere! We are so happy that you arrived on the scene!

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  29. Cody, stop saying that you are a looser !
    You have readers from many countries. Me for example, I am a French cat. A cat who lives in the French Riviera, near Cannes. You know, Cannes, La Croisette, the movie festival !
    But … sadly I am really not famous.
    Even if my blog is in French, I think that I will suggest to Nat à Chat to …. read this book ! I think we really need it.
    Ronrons
    Hisia

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    1. Thank you Hisia that is true!! I do have many, many readers from different countries and I am particularly HONORED to have French cats as readers!!! Ohhhhh to visit France one day would be a dream of my Mom's!! Mom thinks you are quite famous and so do I! We love your blog! Love, Cody and Caren

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  30. My cat is close to being an Internet celebrity! This book would be so fun to read!

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  31. Oh boy, don't give my cat bro Bert any ideas! He wants this book so he can be a start like me...not happening ;)

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  32. Your post gave me a good giggle. Cody you are famous to me and my kitties. If I could learn how to take better photos I would be happy. Thanks for the giveaway.
    Sue B

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    Replies
    1. So happy to have made you laugh, thank you!!!!!! I am with ya as to the photos!! You are most welcome!

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  33. We don't need any celebrity cats. Besides, most cats are on the internet swooning over Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! Not only a superstar dawg, but an acclaimed pawblisher.

    Penny's alleged human,

    Gary :)

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  34. I hope to learn why TW is a loser too. You are too hard on your Mom. At least she GOT this book to review or to do a giveaway. TW **thought** just cos I have some fans that I was following in Sockington’s boots. HAH!

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  35. Cody, you are tough on your mom! We do feel your pain cause our mom is even worse than your mom. We doubt we will ever have the chance to be famous cause, have you ever seen her photos? OMC! Just pitiful! And that is the beginning of the list . ..

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  36. We feel your pain Cody. Our mama started a blog with squirrel in the name and it went no where. Then we came along and if she had played her cards right we could be famous by now. Why you ask? Cause we are beautiful, talented and very funny. We thinks maybe this book might put her on the right track, maybe.

    Purrs,
    Cindi Lou & The "Should be World Famous" Kitty Krew

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  37. This looks like an awesome book :) I bet that Cinco and Manna would love for me to make them into celebrities.

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  38. This looks like a pawsome book for somecat! :-)

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  39. SERIOUSLIES! Such slackers these humans are (heeeee!!)

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  40. This looks absolutely hilarious!!!
    Maybe Katie & Waffles CAN carry me into retirement! haha!!
    thanks so much for the shout out!
    ...Glogirly's hasn't been able to visit blogs for a couple of days and we almost missed this!!!
    xoxoxo

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  41. Looks like a really FUN book and would LOVE to win it :)

    XOXO

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  42. This sounds like an amazing book!!!!! kisses Brucy & Marija xxxxxxxxx

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