Monday, December 30, 2013

Book:"Dangled Carat" by Hilary Grossman

I married a commitment-phobic man, so when I heard the premise of Author Hilary Grossman's book, Dangled Carat, I knew that this was a book that I HAD to read.

Many of you know Hilary as the author of the popular blog Feeling Beachie, where her keen sense of observation, as it relates to people and their idiosyncrasies,  is conveyed (often with sarcasm and humor), on a daily basis. For the cat lovers that read both of our blogs, you probably came to know Hilary when she would write about her beloved cat, Alex, (who I was pleased to see was mentioned  a number of times in the book),  and now her current kitty,  precious Lucy. Today I am pleased to introduce you to  Hilary Grossman, AUTHOR (and a brilliant one at that!),  of Dangled Carat, the first of what I am certain will be a succession of successful novels!


From Dangled Carat:Hilary had gotten used to dating the commitment-phobic Marc, thirteen years her senior. They had a great relationship—why rush into things? She saw no need to pressure him for marriage, believing that when the time was right, he would propose. But after they had been together for four years, their friends decided to take matters into their own hands, pushing Marc to propose and making Hilary realize how much she really did want to marry the man that she loved. Unfortunately, Marc still wasn’t ready—and their friends’ meddling in the form of a faux engagement party led to a disastrous New Year’s Eve that brought their relationship to an inevitable turning point.In this relatable, lighthearted, and playful memoir, Hilary reminisces about her life before Marc—from the insecure and awkward teenage years she spent in a back brace and dealing with the loss of her father, to her early relationships and, finally, to the day she met Marc and realized that she really wanted to see him again...  Hilary shares the details of their relationship and how Marc’s inability to commit led her to find an inner strength and confidence she didn’t know she possessed.

How I wish I had this book when I met my now husband! Hilary was spot on in her often hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking, depiction of how a woman feels when dating (and WAITING!) for a commitment-phobic man to "see the light." For women who have dated and lost a commitment-phobic man, to those like myself who married one, you will commiserate with the pain, joy, frustration and wisdom that Hilary displayed throughout her relationship with Marc.


One of many things that I found to be fabulous about Dangled Carat, was even knowing Hilary, as I do through blogging,  and KNOWING the final outcome, I found myself gasping at parts, saying "Ohhhh noooo" and cheering her on,  (and yelling at Marc!), through every page. I found myself  FORGETTING that I know her!

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the title again. It didn't click with me until I read the book, the title Dangled Carat is brilliant!

How many of you are familiar with the Carrot and Stick Approach?  The Carrot and Stick Approach : "is an idiom that refers to a policy of offering a combination of rewards and punishment to induce behavior. It is named in reference to a cart driver dangling a carrot in front of a mule and holding a stick behind it. The mule would move towards the carrot because it wants the reward of food, while also moving away from the stick behind it, since it does not want the punishment of pain, thus drawing the cart."

I am by no means comparing Hilary to a MULE, but the clear message is that through Marc's obvious signals, gestures and  behavior, he DID love Hilary, but enough to marry her?

 Marc showed Hilary enough love and affection to make her remain in a relationship with him, but the obvious reward, marriage, remained out of reach, just like the elusive carrot of the mule. Hilary was in the "driver's seat" in the relationship, but often didn't realize that. Controlling a successful career was easy for her. Hilary endured  heartbreaking traumas in her life that would have broken one with less internal strength, but she emerged victorious. Those battles in hindsight were EASY compared to what she was experiencing with Marc. While  she wanted to remain in the relationship, and in her heart KNEW she would be married to Marc, she also considered moving away from it, wanting to escape the pain that she often felt would happen if she stayed, much like the mule pulling the cart.

In the Jewish religion there is a word and the word is Beshert which means  "inevitable" or "preordained." It can apply to any happening which appears to bear the fingerprints of divine providence"

From Hilary and Marc's first meeting it was evident that this relationship was Beshert, it just took patience, intellect, emotional fortitude, listening to one's gut and the intervention of a VILLAGE! (Marc's friends/family) to have this 40-something commitment-phobe see the light!

  Dangled Carat   is a GEM!!!

To  purchase visit:

AMAZON

BARNES & NOBLE


In Full Disclosure: I received no compensation for this review, over a year ago I was speaking with Hilary on the phone and learned of her plans to write "A" book, (not knowing it would be this one!) I told her that when she did, I wanted to be SURE to be included as one of the reviewers. That is why I broke away from A HUGE RULE when reviewing Dangled Carat:: I only review books featuring cats, (well Alex IS in the book a teeny-tiny bit!)












44 comments:

  1. This sounds like a good book. My hubby was just the opposite, he proposed after six months of dating.

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    1. OMG!!!!! I met mine online in 2000...he was in Michigan and I was in Ohio. He used to tell me I was GUD "Geographically undesirable" lol. He was much like Marc, pull you in, push away...over and over again. Drove me insane. This book IS good!

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    2. Squirrel Queen - Thanks! I hope you can check it out. wow! You found a speedy one… I can't imagine getting engaged so fast… It took Marc more than 6 months of our dating for him to have me hang out with his friends and family...

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  2. It's always fascinating to read about how people meet and fall in love.
    It sounds like a fabulous book and I'd love to add it to my nightstand. : )
    GG

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    1. Katie & Glogirly - thanks so much! I hope you can check it out… I love how you met stories… everyone's is so different!

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  3. *´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Have a Blessed and Prosperous New Year!

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  4. What a wonderful book review as always Caren.....this sounds like a book every woman could enjoy reading and seeing bits of herself and her relationship(s) in.......I love the title too - I can SOOOO relate!! Thanks again for telling us about another great read.....

    Pam

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    1. What???!! YOU can relate too? I wouldn't have known, not David!!!! Thanks so much for your kind words, loved this book!!!

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    2. Pam thanks so much. I think that this story is so relatable… let's face it.. most women have either dated a commitment phobic man or have a friend who has...

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  5. Great review Caren and it sounds like a good read. We loved the title too.
    Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

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    1. Thanks so much Molly! It is, the title is perfect! You have a marvelous Monday too!!!

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    2. Molly - thanks… the title actually wrote it's self - seriously, no one should have the carat dangled as much as I did - UGH - faux engagements...

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  6. A really good review. Sounds like a good book. Hope you have a super day and a very Happy New year.

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    1. Thanks so much Marg! It was great! Hoping you have a super day and a Happy New Year too!

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    2. Marg - Caren sure has a way with the reviews… I can't stop reading this one!

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  7. OMG Caren, thanks so much! I really appreciate your review. Seriously you made my day! I am so thankful that you broke your rule :) but…. as you say, Alex is in the book with some never before told stories of the tailless wonder!

    I love you my friend!

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    1. Hilary!!! Now I am the one "omg'ing!!" THANK YOU and YOU ARE MOST WELCOME!! The book was completely delightful and you totally "got me" at one point, even knowing you! lol!! Yes, I smiled and got teary when Alex was mentioned :) I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!! I had never read the book jacket before or anyone else's review and how ironic is it that when I agreed to review it, I chose right around New Years??????? That was also "beshert!!!" I never knew that New Years had a special significance for you until I read the book! xoxo

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    2. It is funny - I totally GOT a lot of people at that point!!! One of my friends told me she literally hated Marc for those few pages…. I got teary when I wrote about Alex too. Oh how i miss that boy! I love that you reviewed around New Years.. seriously New years is a main character of the story!

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  8. We love Hilary and we loved the book too. Hilary is quite the wordsmith!!!

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    1. we love her too and couldn't agree with you more!

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    2. Brian - and Hilary loves you!

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  9. It certainly sounds like a great book! We'll add it on Mommy's "to buy" books for when Daddy travels to the US. :)
    Happy New Year, Cody, Dakota and Caren!

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    1. YAY!!! Happy New Year to all of you too! xoxo

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    2. THe Furries - thanks for adding it to your mom's To Buy List - can you please teach Lucy that trick? I can use some help...

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  10. I always love your book reviews....huge reader!
    I hope you had a very Merry Christmas, my apologies for being absent for a while......sooooo busy with the holidays!!
    Wishing u a Happy New year!!!
    ((husky hugz))

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    1. Jenna thanks so much! I put A LOT of time into them so that means so much to me, thank you!!! Don't apologize about being absent! I have been "absent' or late myself....everyone is so busy this time of year that I am grateful that ANYONE stops by!!! Hope you had a great Christmas too and we wish you nothing but the best in the New Year! xoxoxo

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    2. Jenna - Caren's reviews are the best! She has sold me on a bunch in the past...

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  11. I laugh cause the commitment avoider in our house is me, not my hubby! Sounds like a fun read. Lee and Phod

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    1. Well then you HAVE to read this! I should have said it could be WOMEN too!

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    2. Hailey - love it… commitment phobes come in all shapes, sizes and genders...

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    1. Ragdoll Mommy - sadly so much of my life during the period that the book depicts was awkward...

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  13. The mom needs to read this book! Great review!

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  14. Thanks for the review. It sounds like a wonderful book.
    Sue B

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    1. Katsrus - thanks so much! Caren sure has a way with words!

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  15. We love Hilary, Marc, Lucy and Angel Alex, and we love Hilary's book, too! Beshert, indeed!

    Such a wonderful review of a fabulous book.

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    1. We do too!!! Thank you so much my friends! xoxo

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    2. Meowmeowmans - and Hilary, Marc, Lucy and Angel Alex love you guys too!

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