Crazed Silver Gray Tabby Cat Makes a Break for It At Vet!

Got your attention didn't I?

Furiends! It's Cody and I need your help BIG TIME!

I overheard my Mom talking to my Dad a few days ago. Kitty and woofie furiends, you  will NEVER believe what I heard! Mom and Dad are planning on TRICKING ME!!! Yep, you heard me correctly, my Mom and Dad are gonna pull a fast one! Or so they think!

Here's the litter dirt... many of you remember that a few weeks ago I decided to put myself on a self-imposed diet.  What Mom and Dad didn't know, was that I was tired of everyone making fun of my ample belleh, so  I decided to take matters into my own paws and cut back on my food.

 I was gonna be controlled about it, nothing drastic, so I just stopped eating for a bit. Furiends, that was part of my weight loss plan! Mom and Dad didn't know this, but I DID! Well, it back-fired and Mom and Dad stuffed me into my PTU and took me to the Vet to see "Dr. Smiley."

What Mom and Dad didn't know at the time was that "Dr.Smiley" was off gallivanting in his home town, so I was left in the paws of his youthful ward assistant, "Dr ---" you can guess her name,
 ( she is a Vet by day and by night she and her Veterinarian furiends sing "What Does The Fox Say?")


This is where all of the drama started.  Furiends, Dr. Smiley's youthful ward stole my blood (and didn't like what she saw), AND she had her evil sidekicks put me on a table to take photos of my belleh (what kind of freaks are they???) Then, they had the nerve to tell Mom and Dad to take me to the Emergency Vet which was even worse!!! They also poked, prodded and  shaved the furs on my beautiful belleh! Furiends, I was so humiliated that it  has taken me WEEKS to pull myself together enough  to tell you the sordid tail tale! The Emergency Vet put some cold disgusting stuff (kinda like that hairball gel), on my belleh so they could take even MORE pictures!!   To think I thought that Mom constantly trying to take pictures of me was bad, this  horrible furiends! I thought if I hacked once it would stop them, but my valiant effort was for naught!

When they stole my blood they said they think I have hypercalcemia (and I don't even drink milk! MOL!)  After they had me at the Emergency Vet for what seemed like all of my nine lives, I was sent home with pills to... ready for this? MAKE ME EAT! Me! The kitty kibble machine was being FORCED to eat! It was a dream come true! Trust me kitties, NEVER put yourself on a diet without telling your pawrents, if you do, you will be carted off to the vet like I was!

Furiends, do you believe that "Dr.Smiley" told Mom that he wanted to be contacted in his evil out-of-town location, to be kept up-to-date as to what was transpiring with me? Now he does his plotting out-of-town? You have GOT to be kidding!

When I got home I made sure to end that diet and I started eating with my usual gusto without the pills that were supposed to make me eat!!! I thought that the fact that  I was consuming my usual copious amount of food would prevent my having to go back to see "Dr. Smiley", but obviously, I thought wrong.

 A couple of days ago I  was perched on the couch minding my own business eavesdropping,  when I overheard Mom and "Dr.Smiley" on the phone plotting their evil plan to steal MORE BLOOD!

Doesn't he get enough? What kind of sicko is he? If he needs iron, can't he go and eat some liver or something, preferably NOT mine??!! "Dr.Smiley" said my hypercalcemia could be caused by any number of things (one of them is bad), but "Dr.Smiley" thinks I might be like many kitties who are hypercalcemic and they might never find out what the cause is. Mom and Dad are crossing their paws that is the case.

So, it appears that later this afternoon either Mom or Dad is gonna grab me and stuff me in my PTU yet again.....and take me back to "Dr.Smiley's" evil laboratory where they will steal more of my blood, and then have it sent out via a giant black crow,  mailed out,to be tested. "Dr.Smiley" said we should have the results within about five to seven days.

Furiends, I need your help big time!!!
1) Help me plan an escape at the Vet before they can take more blood!!
2) Cross your paws that if they catch me, I am one of the kitties that they never know why I have hypercalcemia!!!

Kitties and Woofies! I am counting on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel fine! I am playing, eating, peeing, pooping, EVERYTHING! What more do they want from me??

 HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Cody


FROM THE MOM: hypercalcemia can be quite serious and by no means am I not somewhat EXTREMELY worried. The only reason I am allowing Cody to joke about it, is because when I spoke to Dr.Smiley the other day, he told me that HE is NOT worried about the results....Dr.Smiley cared for Angel Bobo for many years before Cody was ever born, and we trust him implicitly. While trust doesn't mean that we are expecting the blood test to come with perfect results, it does mean that if Dr.Smiley tells me he isn't worried about it, then I am doing my best not to worry too!!! Also, finding humor in a tense and worrisome situation helps take the "edge" off of all of us in Cody's family, and if I am laughing, it will enable Cody to be less tense.