Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Thirteen Years Ago Today...

Thirteen years ago today I made one of the best decisions of my life. I adopted Cody. He wasn’t my first choice, his litter mates who wanted nothing to do with me were. When I said to his foster Mom at Petco, “let me see that gray kitten jumping around in the back of the cage “,  he knew. When she handed him to me, he crawled up my chest and snuggled, he never attempted to leave. He chose ME, and I am forever grateful.





A mere two weeks earlier my first cat, Bobo, had passed, I was devastated,  but as painful as Bobo’s passing was, the emptiness and sorrow I am experiencing with Cody’s tragic, traumatic  and unexpected passing is nearly intolerable.





I had adopted Cody to help heal my broken heart. Cody’s cuddly and loving nature filled my heart with happiness all of his 13 years. Now, with the loss of Cody AND Dakota a mere 9 days later, my heart is in pieces. 




I thought this would be my tribute post but I thought wrong. I’m not ready. 

Cody will be gone one month on July 30th and I feel as if I am trapped in a bad dream.

The best I can do today is share a few collages that I put together to hang in our living room. 

I think what I will do is post tributes to both boys on August 28, Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day. 

Cody deserves much more than this on his Adoption Day, but once again through tears that seem to never end, this is all that my emotions can handle.













I will never stop loving you or missing you my cuddle bug. 💔💔💔💔 Thank you for choosing ME, thank you for loving me, I pray you know how much you were loved. 



NOTE:This post isn't set up well because it was created on my phone. Trust me, the Rainbow Bridge Memorial post will be done properly. Poor Cody, I couldn't even handle his Adoption Day post. 



51 comments:

  1. I have no words that can help staunch the tears, for mine are flowing too...

    Just want to let you know that you are often on my mind, and I send you all the virtual hugs that could ever be sent through the cyber highways.

    (((((((((((( ♥ ))))))))))

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  2. Happy Gotcha Day, Angel Cody! Cody's adoption story is just so wonderfully perfect! I love how our cats seem to know better than we do what (or who) we need. Your story speaks to me deeply - I feel Bear and I connected in a similar way. I wasn't looking to adopt another cat - but he chose me. I had to let go of all logic and rational planning and follow my heart - and for that, I was rewarded immeasurably. I wish I knew what to say - what I could do - anything to lighten your load and show you how much I care about you and Cody. Whenever you are ready, I'd love to hear all your stories about Cody (and Dakota). I rushed here thinking this was the day I'd read some - but I'm not going anywhere and you will share them in your own time. Please take care of yourself and be as gentle and loving to yourself as he was to you - that is the ultimate way to honor him and everything he meant to you.

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  3. Thinking of you, Caren.

    One day you will be ready to talk about your babies again. There's no hurry. Take your time. I'm sure they are with you, watching over you.

    You gave them so much love and they had the best life. They also gave you such beautiful memories and they will remain in your heart always.

    Sending purrs, hugs, love and light.

    Athena and Marie xx

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  4. Caren, grief comes in all different sizes. You do what you need to do, and we will be here to support you. No matter when.

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  5. Losing a beloved friend is really hard. To lose two so close together is heartbreaking. Allow yourself lots of time to grieve. Best friends stay in your heart forever. The pain will eventually lessen, but it never completely leaves.
    Purrs, Georgia and Julie

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  6. Oh, Caren, we are devastated, just devastated on reading your terribly sad message today. Please, please know that our arms are around you as they have always been around Cody and Dakota. This is terrible news and I see you are deep in grief. Nothing to be said that will help. Only that if you remember that little jumping kitten that chose you, there may be another orhan who needs a mommy. So much love from us, Caren. Loulou and family.

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  7. Oh, Caren, We know the pain and we are experiencing it all over again with you.
    One thing you can be sure of. Cody knew how much he was loved. Never doubt it, not for one moment.

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  8. Sending you big hugs - it is so hard to lose one beloved animal, two at once would be terrible. <3

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  9. Cody was a very special boy and we are sure he knew how very much you love him. ((Hugs))

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  10. Words are never enough but I send you love and a huge virtual hug. x

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  11. So sorry for your loss, and a double loss is really hard to fathom. Take your time to grieve, there are no rules or time limits. Hugs to you.

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  12. You've been on my mind so much. I simply cannot imagine how devastated you must be. Don't feel pressured to post a tribute. If at some point in the future, it feels like doing so would be healing for you, then do it. If it's too painful, there's no need to do it. I'm sending so much love and hugs to you as you mourn your two beautiful boys.

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  13. Well I know it's one of those occasions today that you celebrate but yet reminds you of your loss. Cody certainly was one lucky boy that day you adopted him 13 years ago and his life - because of you and Lenny - was so full of love and fun. I know you are still mourning his (and Dakota's) loss but it's also a day to celebrate - making one of the BEST decisions of your life - to give Cody a home.

    Love and Hugs, Pam

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  14. There is no "right" timeline for grief or tributes, or celebration, or anything else. Embrace the sadness, let it wash over you, and let that be the tribute to your two precious boys. Of course, Cody knew how much you love him--and as painful as it is, the depth of your sorrow is a tribute to that relationship. When...if...the time is right, post more. And if it's never the right time, that's okay, too. Surrounding you with light and love on this hard day, and those to follow, my dear friend.

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  15. (((Caren)))

    There's no timeline to grief, you move through it at your own pace and nothing is wrong, nothing is right, it's just what works for you, what feels best for your heart and soul.

    Wishing you peace and blessings, in due time. ♥

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  16. I know just how you feel. I cried for months and months after Little Bit went to the bridge. Know that I've thought of you a million times.

    Big healing hugs, honey. ♥♥♥

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  17. Angel's Cody and Dakota are watching from Heaven, and they send you love, as they did when on Earth.
    Hugs and purrs.

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  18. Take good care of yourself during this tough time of grieving, Caren.
    Love and sympathy,
    Maggie

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  19. You lost a big piece of your heart and a big part of your life, it's absolutely horrible and our tears flow with yours. Hugs and love from all of us dear friend.

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  20. Caren, I can't tell you how sorry I am for your losses. Sending big hugs.

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  21. It is a beautiful post Caren. I know how hard it is and how long it took me to even look at Abby's photos. It takes time for the heart to be able to accept all the sadness and pain. Cody was honored today by your heartfelt post. You continue to go on your own personal journey with both Cody and Dakota and don't think any period of time is important, it's not, it's what is right for you. Prayers.

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  22. Signora Caren - youza always in my heart as is my meowster pal Cody. You 2 had 13 meowvalous pawsome awesome years together - I know dat. Here comes my EyeTailYun hug for you.

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  23. What a wonderful tribute to your baby. Praying for you and sometime ease the heartache even though it would never be gone

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  24. Oh Caren you must take your time and when you are ready you will do Cody proud. Our dear furs get deep into our hearts and it takes how long it takes to start to move forward again and I know you will in your own time. We always think of Cody and Dakota and you and you are all in our prayers
    Timmy, Dad Pete and Family

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  25. Hugs and purrs, Caren, I know it's really difficult to lose animal friends. They had good lives with you and happy times and those are the things that help me feel better on those days when I can't escape the sadness of my own losses.

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  26. Caren; Cody doesn't care what the post "looks like", it's the MESSAGE that counts and you told him now; today, and from day one, you loved him and you always will; and I GUARANTEE you, not only does Cody know this, but so does Dakota. ♥♥♥♥♥ How one handles grief is not set in stone, there's no rules, or time line, and one deals with it in their own way. Losing Cody was devastating, you didn't even have time to let that set in, then Dakota left for heaven days later. Few if any, could "handle this" and I'm ever so sorry. The collages you made SHOW the love between you both, and those memories will forever be imprinted on your heart and mind; that's what truly counts. If Cody, Dakota, even Bobo could speak "human" they would say, thanks mom and dad for everything....we all love you too....and we always will. May God grant you peace in your heart and the strength to see you through this, and forgive me for writing a short story instead of a comment. hugs and loves ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ laura

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  27. It is just so sad and tragic a loss I don't have words. . .

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  28. Those are beautiful collages. Sending lots of hugs.

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  29. So much love for you Caren as you grieve your precious Cody and such a tremendous loss. I know we all hold you in our hearts, prayers and thoughts and may that support you as you navigate this wild, unknown landscape of grief. I know your boys knew how deeply loved they were and still are and I know they are with you still gracing you with their love. Sending you so much light and love.

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  30. I think the blog itself is a great way to remember Cody and Dakota. Just think of the hundreds of people who feel the loss along with you and will remember them along with you as well.

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  31. We get it, Caren, and you should give yourself a break. Cody understands how difficult all this is for you. You will get something nice together when you are ready. We are always thinking of you. Hugs. xo

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  32. Caren my heart is so broken for you. You had great years with Cody and I know it will hurt for a long while. The photos in this post are beautiful and my heart hurts for you

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  33. How blessed you were that Cody chose you ! You are not expected to forget that.

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  34. Sending you love and hugs as you remember your sweet boy. XO

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  35. Caren, I hope all the wonderful memories that you have of your boy helps turn your tears to smiles. Hugs.

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  36. You've suffered such losses with both Cody and Dakota. Never question that both of them knew, every single day, that you loved them with all your heart. Give yourself time to grieve. Share memories, laughter, or tears with us. And in time, maybe a memorial post. When my Felix died, I felt there was nothing I could say that would do him justice. I hope you are feeling the love and support of all your friends during this time. And thank you for taking the time to share the photo collages of Cody and Dakota. So many wonderful moments.

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  37. In tears, Caren... for your story with Cody, for your loss, and for losses of my own... because each of us here, who choose to be loved by and to adore a furbaby, understand every word of your pain, every heartbeat of your joy, that you've shared. May the searing hurt soon gentle, so that your tears become less hot, your grief more bearable. And thank you, above all, for sharing Cody and Dakota (and Bobo, in beautiful memories) with us all. Our hearts are ALL the better for it.

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  38. Take your time, Caren. You will be ready whenever you are ready. Not before, and not after. We love you, and we will love and remember Cody and Dakota forever, too. Please let us know if you need anything, okay? XO

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  39. Thinking of you, Caren. We hope time will do his healing work and help you smile again at the sweet memories you have from Cody and Dakota. We send you tons of hugs and love. Purrs

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  40. I am reading this through my tears. My beloved Tucker and his sister crossed the Rainbow Bridge in February and June. There is no timeline on grief. These fur kids that embed themselves so deeply in our hearts will remain forever in our hearts but the pain will not remain. I know that your heart will heal when it is ready. Sending you love and prayers for only happy memories of Cody.
    Anita

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  41. My heart breaks at your loss, thanks for sharing his story with us all, what a wonderful friend, he will be missed. Hugs.

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  42. You were both so lucky to have each other! Thoughts are with you

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  43. My heart is breaking for you, too, Caren, as I read this post. The pain will always be real, no matter how much time passes. I'm commenting through glazed eyes and don't have anything profound to say. Brian (dad of Cleo)

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  44. My heart just breaks for you Caren. I was stunned to learn about Cody and now Dakota?! It's almost too much. What a loving tribute to them...the images speak volumes of the love shared. They both were so lucky to call you Mom. I suppose the only comfort is knowing that they are on the other side together just as they were here. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need a listening ear. Sending you big hugs! Take it one day at a time.

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  45. There are no rules. No rush. No expectations when it comes to grief. It took me months to pull myself out of the fog of depression when we lost Caster last year. Take your time and take care of yourself. As much as I wish we could, we can't take the pain from you - but I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that the blogging community is here for you and supports you. We all understand. Sending love

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  46. My heart breaks for you. Take your time to grieve your previous fur children. I was very depressed for a long time after losing Praline and there are times, all of the memories and emotions come flooding back. Please know I'm here for you.

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  47. This post is perfect! So sorry you're going through so much loss all at once. So glad you have so many great pictures and memories of your boys. Hope the memories can help ease the pain of loss. Love you all! <3

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  48. I commented long ago but I guess it didn't stick! I have been thinking about you and Cody a lot. I remember we used to talk about how he and Mr Jack share this connection and how we joked about the silly nicknames we have for them. The way you always described Cody it's like you describe Mr. Jack. Now when I look at Mr. Jack I think of Cody and I give him a big hug. My heart breaks for you :(

    Just think of the wonderful loving connection you had with Cody, that will never die. All those times you hugged him and called him those silly names or when he came over to head bonk you, that will never leave you. Cody knew how much he was loved in this life and one day you will be united with him, Dakota and Bobo in the next. Big hugs from all of us at the Chirpy Cats house xx

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