Wednesday, July 2, 2014

"Tears In Heaven"

Some of you might remember this post from the last few years. It is now a tradition, that I post this on the anniversary of my beloved Bobo's passing. The only change I made was that Bobo is now gone 7 years and this year I added a few photos and a few extra paragraphs that are extremely important to me. Sorry about the quality of the photos, they are quite old. 


Bobo is who this blog is dedicated to.
 There would be no Cat Chat if I hadn't shared my life with Bobo.



 My Baby Bobo, I miss you today, I'll miss you tomorrow,
 I will miss you until the day we meet again.  


It is 7 years ago today that I lost my beloved Bobo, or my "Baby Bobo" as I often called him.

Bobo passed the day after his 18th birthday.

He was  my  "Soul Kitty".

 What is a "Soul Kitty?"

 A "Soul Kitty" is a  once-in-a- lifetime pet.



A "Soul Kitty" is  the yin to our yang.

A "Soul Kitty" is  a  pet tied more deeply to us than many people in our lives have been, or could ever hope to be.  Our fur babies are ALL special but I believe if you think really hard there is just one who stands out from the others.

  A "Soul Kitty" is the  one whose fur would be dampened by our tears as he  snuggled peacefully by our side, just to offer us comfort.

A "Soul Kitty" is the one who makes us laugh til our sides ache, watching  his kitty craziness.

I was upset with Bobo's behavior one day
and packed his kitty toys
in a bandana


A "Soul Kitty" is the one who you swore that " there was no other cat out there quite like him" (isn't it funny how we ALL say that about our cats?).


The passing of Bobo was the most horrible thing that has happened in my life (next to my Father's passing).  So many of you can relate to the devastating heartbreak that one just doesn't have the words for. The pain was crippling. I lived for him as much as he lived for me. A part of me died with him. In order to cope, I chose to make some collages and hang them in our condo (where they still hang today). I needed to see him in every room, the thought of his face not greeting me each day was too much to bear.



This clock still hangs in our kitchen
The above photo, (in the same frame), was prominently displayed on my desk at every job I had. When I travel, I will NOT travel without it. Bobo has joined me on every airplane trip since he passed. I keep that photo in a black velvet bag, I hold it when the plane takes off and kiss it. My Angel Bobo is MY Guardian Angel.


For many years Bobo and I lived on our own. I had no other pets, Bobo WAS the only pet, and my baby. I wasn't married for many of the years we were together and I would customarily leave for work at 7am and not return home until after 6pm. I had a lovely window at my old apartment that was on the first floor. Bobo used to enjoy passing many hours watching deer, birds, and even our maintenance people (who knew him as a fixture in the window and knew him by name), while he waited for me to return home. It never mattered what time I returned, when I would pull into my parking spot, there would be Bobo, waiting for his Mama's return.

 For those of you who believe that cats (and humans and other pets), communicate with us from beyond, an eerie thing happened. Soon after Bobo's passing, my  husband and my sister-in-law had gone to an Art fair and I stayed home. My husband surprised me with a portrait he had bought that bore not only a striking resemblance to my Bobo, but it was as if whomever created the portrait had seen my window. I burst into tears when I saw it. It is probably the most beautiful and cherished gift I have ever received. I would like to share that with you:


I am convinced that Bobo found a window in heaven
where he is waiting for me.
The portrait still hangs in my living room.

When Bobo was still a young cat, very much alive and vital, I often played music in the apartment that we shared.  There was one song, "Tears In Heaven" by Eric Clapton,  that for some reason Bobo particularly liked.  Whenever it would come on he would come walking into whatever room I was in. He would rub his head and face against my hand or my leg. He did this so often that I began to call it "Bobo's Love Song" or  "The Kitty Love Song" . I used to become sad thinking that one day, even if it WAS many years down the road, my Bobo would no longer be with me.  Even with Bobo being so young the thought would bring me to tears.  I couldn't imagine not having  my "Baby Bobo" in my life.  It has  been seven years since my Baby Bobo passed and:

I still can't





99 comments:

  1. Caren I am sending you warm thoughts on a hard day. As a kitty mamma myself it's hard to lose them and it always seems to leave a hole in your heart. Give Cody an extra snuggle and say sweet word to Bobo this evening. C.Q.

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    1. Michele thank you!!!! Sending you (((((hugs))) huge ones! xoxo

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  2. This post is so incredibly beautiful, Caren. It will be a year for Tara on Monday. She was my soul kitty. In ways it feels like years since she was here, yet I remember times with her as though they were yesterday. This afternoon I went through a bunch of photos for her memorial blog post and the tears flowed like rain. I think they always will.

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    1. Melissa thank you and huge (((((hugs)))) to you. I soooo know that Tara was your soul kitty and how special she was. It DOES get easier, the pain is always there but in a lighter level. Sometimes I still cry when I look at Bobo's photos too, depends on the day. This is your first anniversary without Tara and that is the worst. Just hold Truffles closer and smother her with kisses. xoxoxo

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  3. Purrs to you today. As you know, it gets more manageable, but the pain never goes away. The cat before me died in 2002, several months before I was born, and my human still misses her. She does not know the date - she won't look it up, either because she does not want the reminder.

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    1. Sparkle purrs and love to your human ((((hugs))))) I so understand

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  4. Oh Caren the pain is one we all understand...your sweet Bobo my sweet Merlin..never have I felt a loss as soul wrenching...1 year 7 years forever always rips a piece from you..we send our hugs and know sweet Bobo is always with you ..love Bev xx

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    1. beautifully stated Bev...and sooo true! ((((hugs)))) for your precious Merlin too xoxoxo

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  5. Caren, such a beautiful post and testament to your great love with your precious Bobo. I love that you take Bobo's picture in the heart-shaped frame with you when you travel and that he is your Guardian Angel, so special. What an amazing story about the portrait that your husband got for you. Thinking of you today and sending you lots of purrs and love.

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    1. thank you so much my dear friend! Should have shown him to you when we were at BlogPaws! xoxo

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  6. In some how, this beautiful post get me & my mom leaking.
    Send lots of love, purr and hug to you.
    xoxxo

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    1. Oh Puddy!!!! I am sorry! I know that you and your Mom have the same kind of a relationship. I hope your Mom is home now and has rescued you from "jail!!!" LOVE YOU BOTH SOOO MUCH! xoxo

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  7. Sending you warm hugs, gentle headbumps and purrs on this special day of remembrance. xoxo

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    1. thanks so much! You are so kind to visit us so often! I checked to see if you have a blog, but didn't see one, do you have one so that I may reciprocate?

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  9. Oh Caren, this is such a beautiful post for Bobo. I find it hard to type through the tears and know so well how you are feeling. Eric's photo also goes everywhere with us when we travel.
    Hugs to you on this special but sad day. Flynn sends his purrs.

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    1. My dear friend, THANK YOU! Ohhh I soooooooooooo KNOW that you know!!!! (((((hugs))))) back and tell Flynn those purrs were greatly appreciated!!! Cody sends kisses! xoxo

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  10. What a beautiful boy he was. Wishing you a warm day to remember Bobo!

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  11. What a beautiful post. I love your definition of a soul cat. I think a part of us dies with each cat we loose, but when it's one of those soul cats, the pain is simply unbearable. Your relationship with Bobo sounds very much like mine with Feebee, my first soul cat. Hugs to you on this anniversary.

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    1. Ingrid thank you! I agree with you about a part of us dying and ohhhh yessssss you had the same with Feebee. Whenever I read about Feebee I think of Bobo........you so KNOW! ((((hugs))))

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  12. Dear, dear Caren -- what a huge grief. I know it surely must mirror the joy that also once was. It seems so valiant to me, to stay present, as you are doing here, with both those overwhelming emotions. To me, it sometimes seems like more than I can bear. It's hard for me to share that moment you write about, where you look at the living being and feel the loss even before it's happened. Speaking it as you have, with this tradition, helps. Your fidelity to the memory of the pair of you, the sense of vivid accuracy of how you remember it and share it with us, is very moving.

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    1. thank you my friend. Yes, I do know the relevance of that song (Eric Clapton's son).....yep, the entire story

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  13. I just realized -- Clapton wrote that song to commemorate his baby son, who died in an accident. How could he even think of performing it? Have you ever tried to sing when you're crying? Not possible!! I'm glad he was able to do it anyway. I'm glad Bobo enjoyed it.

    And for an account of Clapton's tragedy -- and the weirdness of embellishing it, to give in to blame and bitterness -- read about it in Snopes. I love that your memories need no embellishment. There is no blame, no bitterness. Only grief.

    Here's the Snopes article: http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/tears.asp

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  14. Sending you lots of love today and always… What a beautiful post for a beautiful boy… Bobo was an amazing man and you both were so lucky to have each other in your life. I totally believe in signs. Alex recently sent us a big one… http://www.feelingbeachie.com/sweet-baby-james/

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    1. Hilary thank you so much!! I am on my way over to read your post, I am sorry I missed it! xoxo

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  15. Caren, such a sweet and inspiring tribute to a wonderful friend I know you still miss deeply. There are no words to say except I understand and send you hugs, my friend.

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  16. Purrs to you as you remember sweet Bobo today. He may be gone...but never forgotten...and always always loved.

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  17. Lots of purrs and hugs to you today, Caren. The journey through and with grief seems to be an unending one.

    Peace and Blessings.

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  18. I'm crying as I sit at my office computer! Having just lost a kitty of my own, I understand your grief. I believe, Caren, that you will see Bobo again on the other side; such deep love was created for something. Hugs to you from the 'other' side of Metro Detroit.

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    1. oh I am sorry!!!! ((((hugs)))))) One of these days we will get together!

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  19. That a beautiful post to remember your sweet Bobo today. It makes Mum think of Loupi, and some tears appeared... We send you lots of purrs, love, and hugs. Purrs

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    1. thank you and I am soooo sorry!! ((((hugs)))) and much love!

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  20. Thanks for sharing Bobo with us. It's always such a hard loss, and yet, the harder the loss, the better the love was, it seems. Sending purrs and hugs.

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    1. you are welcome my friend and thank you! So true!

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  21. Caren that's amazing that Bobo lived that long. I totally understand how deep your loss was/is with the passing of Bobo. He was more than a pet, he was your family. One day, you'll see him again in heaven and right now he's watching over you through his window from above. What a precious tribute to your furbaby! God bless!!

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    1. Cathy thank you so much! Nowadays, cats live much longer, but I was truly blessed. He WAS my family as Cody and Dakota are now. Thanks so much and sending blessings back to you!

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  22. Sending hugs. We understand your pain
    Lily & Edward

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    1. thank you so much Lily and Edward, I KNOW that you do!!! Sending love and hugs to you!

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  23. Oh, Caren, this is so lovely, no matter how many times I read it. I do understand about the connection between our cats and us, and yes, I believe those who have gone on can reach out to us from beyond. A few months after my mom died, I was over at her house and leafing through a book when a photo of her fell out from between the pages. I couldn't figure out from the date of the photo why she was so dressed up, but discovered later, she was dressed for my wedding and the photo had been developed much later. I really feel it was a gift from her. Hugs & kisses!
    ♥♥♥♥♥

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    1. thank you my friend and you gave me chills when I read this comment. I sooooo believe that was your Mom communicating with you and YES she sooo wanted you to have that photo! Sending much love to you!

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  24. What a sweet post to honor Bobo, Caren. Wasn't that the nicest gift of the portrait that your hubby bought you? I know you cherish it!
    Btw, I grew up in Columbus and that's where my Mom lives.

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    1. Hi Kitty and thanks! Yes it most definitely was! Oh I lived in Cleveland from 1963 until 2001. I worked at the Plain Dealer for 21 and a half years! :)

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  25. Oh Caren :(
    I teared up through this whole post! There was no way I could play that video btw, so i'm sorry about that, but if I had of watched it, I would have burst out fully into tears! That song gets to me, plus mixed with this post, I would have been done for. I think it's so beautiful that you have all of those photos to remind you of the memories of your soul mate kitty. I will be thinking of you today :)
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. you are a sweetheart, THANK YOU! I completely understand! I cry every time I play the video myself. Sending you much love too!

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  26. Caren how well I hear myself echo in the words you have written about Bobo. Everything thing you have written is so true and for anyone who has felt the crushing sorrow they understand completely what you feel. It doesn't get easier, the sorrow does not just stop. It weaves, it bobs, it curves and takes us places where we never thought we'd go. I hope that one day my grief will have more happy moments than sad ones and I wish the same for you.

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    1. Oh my precious friend it DOES get easier, truly it does! The hurt is always there, it never leaves, but the happy moments DO become more frequent! Your loss is so much more recent than mine, yours is still so terribly raw. It will also hurt, but you WILL be able to remember happy moments. That being said, if I allow myself to, I can break down and cry just as hard as I did when Bobo first passed. It DOES get easier. I am ALWAYS here for you if you need me! xoxo

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    2. Thank goodness it is true and good advice for Debra. Purrs to you on this special day for special forever cat, Bobo. xoxo.

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  27. Oh Caren what a wonderful tribute to a wonderful Cat. As you said, we all have our soul cats. I have had a bunch of them I guess they are all special in their own ways. Thanks for telling us about Bobo.

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    1. Marg thank you so much! You are right, they are ALL special in their own way. I adore Cody, but he isn't as tuned into me as Bobo was. Cody is more independent, and I think part of it too is that my husband and Dakota are here. It isn't just Cody and I as it was with Bobo.

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  28. What a moving post and wonderful tribute to your beautiful Bobo. I can relate on so many levels and it moved me to tears.

    Purrs and hugs xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Oh Marie thank you! I sooooo know that you can....xoxoxo to you

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  29. That is such a wonderful and loving tradition. Hugs and love from all of us.

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    1. thank you my dear, dear friends ((((hugs))) and love back to all of you!

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  30. What a beautiful tribute to Bobo! We teared up while reading the post. It's so sad to loose a loved one. Bobo was a very beautiful little boy! ((((BIG HUGS)))) Roxy & Tigerlino <3 <3 <3

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    1. Thanks so much Roxy & Tigerlino. Don't feel bad, I cry when I read it too :( Thank you, Bobo was such a handsome boy...I adored his markings. ((((hugs))) and love to you!

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  31. What a pawsome tribute to your beautiful cat! Mom had her first cat for 19 years, we still have some photos of Fluffy around. Bobo definitely left huge pawprints on your heart.

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    1. thank you Emma! Your Mom was blessed to have her kitty for 19 years for sure!

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  32. Such a beautiful post Caren.
    I really understand what you feel, what you mean.
    During our life, we have friends, lovers, pets, but we have just one soul mate. Bobo was yours and Hisia is mine.
    You are lucky because you met him. Many people are "too blind" to see their soul mate to realize that they have one.

    Douce soirée.
    Nat à Chat

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    1. Oh Nat a Chat THANK YOU!!! That was so beautiful. How blessed you are that Hisia is yours.....I AM lucky that I met him, he enriched my life in so many ways! Thank you! Much love!

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  33. Oh, Caren, what a beautiful tribute to your beloved Bobo. We so do understand how you feel. It doesn't matter how long ago it is, the missing is always there. They're a part of you and your life and leave an empty space inside of your heart. Missing them hurts so much. May the angels embrace you to comfort your pain. Your Bobo is still with you, but you already knew that. Pawkisses and a big Hug <3

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    1. @angelswhisper2011 thank you (((((hugs)))) and pawkisses back at you!

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  34. Meez so sowwy fuw yous loss. Mommy sez hers has had and has a foo Soul Kittys, and meez be one of them as is sis Lexi. Mommy sez dat when yous waise a kitty on a bottle, yous develop such a stwong bond dat is like yous gav biwff tu them yous selff.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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    1. thank you! Well, I wasn't lucky like you to raise Bobo from the bottle. When I found him (he was a stray), he was about 6 mos old.......but we still had that unbreakable bond. So happy you have it too! Love you too!

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  35. What a lovely tribute to someone who was such an important part of your life, in a sense it sounds like he was your life. How perfect to think of Bobo waiting for you in heaven in that window. I'm so glad you share your memories with us every year. xxoo

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    1. Yes Jan so true. Thank you so much!! xoxo

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  36. Thinking of you today. Our pets live with us forever!

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  37. What a beautiful post Caren. You were fortunate to recognize true love with your Bobo. Some people never permit themselves to see what joy and love and purpose a beloved pet could bring them. I love that you have his image everywhere in your home so that you remain surrounded by his love for you, and yours for him. We are sending you our biggest hugs today.

    love,
    Sophie and the critters in the cottage xo

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    1. Hi Sophie and gang! Thank you! Yes, I was truly blessed for sure. He was such a special boy. I still have ALL of the collages and everything up....every single one. I could never take them down. One day I should photograph is carrier, I still have it, just as he left it. It is in a closet (I never let Cody use it) and I cannot bring myself to throw it out. xoxo

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  38. A lovely tribute to your sweet Bobo. Sending you hugs and warm thoughts today my friend.

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    1. thanks so much, love and hugs back to you xoxo

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  39. Beautiful tribute to your kitty Bobo. Big hugs. My soul kitty was BearBear who will be gone two years this August. It' always hard no matter how much time has passed.
    Sue B

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    1. thank you Sue! Ohhh BearBear and Bobo !! xoxo I am so sorry for your loss as well and am sending much love!

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  40. Such a touching post. Lots of purrs and hugs for you. Remembering, like love, is something that never ends.

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  41. Aw, Bobo will always be with you. TW still thinks she feels Nicky jump into bed some nights when I’m not there.

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  42. Such a beautiful tribute to your sweet soul kitty. Always in your heart...
    Hugs and purrs to you, dear friend. May you hold your memories close.
    xoxo

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    1. thanks so much, it is deeply appreciated! xoxo

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  43. What a touching post. Bobo seemed to be such an amazing member of your family and obviously made such a spot in your heart. I absolutely understand the hardship of a lost pet, it was the worst pain I have ever suffered too. Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs.

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  44. Such a poignant and moving post for your beloved Bobo. The pain of loss never really goes away, does it? Thinking of you, and sending hugs, love and purrs.

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    1. thank you my dear furiend, no, it never does ((((hugs)))) and love to all of you!

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  45. I am misty eyed for Bobo... brings to mind all our fur-kids that crossed over the rainbow bridge. They are part of the family. Give Cody an extra scratch & hug (if he lets you) today.
    Faythe @ GrammyMouseTails

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    1. thank you, I did! Ohhhh yessss Cody lets me! In that way he loves to be petted and cuddled more than Bobo did, but Cody had a MUCH "cushier" start to life. xoxo

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  46. O.k. I have to ask...what is a cheesecake kitty?

    Sophie and the critters in the cottage xo

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    1. you know when they have sexy photo shots in mags? They call those "cheesecake" poses :) Nothing bad!!! xoxo

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  47. I had never heard of that...now I know :) It does sound yummy...

    the critters in the cottage xo

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  48. Tears and prayers...thank you for sharing your memories and love for Bobo with us (and his love for you!)
    Nancy

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    1. you are welcome and thank you so much for caring!!

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  49. Sending purrs and hugs. What a beautiful tribute to your beloved Angel Bobo

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  50. What a beautiful and moving commemoration of your beloved friend. You are honoring his memory with your writing and your collages. I also feel that all those of us who rescue animals and promote rescue are honoring the lives of the animals we've lost, by saving other lives....as all creatures are connected, each life you save has a bit of the lives you've lost. Thank you for the heartfelt reflections.

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    1. Kirsten thank you so much!! I agree with you a zillion percent!! My Cody is a rescue, and last year I bought a cat for a family that wanted to adopt him from a rescue event. I try! I need to have you leave comments on blogs for me, you leave the most beautiful, heartfelt comments, you are incredible.

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